How Others Treat You is Really How You Treat Yourself
Greetings everyone and welcome back! 🙂
It’s Cancer season! Cancer season is all about how you relate to yourself and, in turn, how you relate to others. Often, Cancer season can have us thinking about our relationships, and today I want to talk about why your relationship with yourself matters the most.
If you’ve been following along, you know my healthy obsession with the Law of Attraction, one of the most fundamental and powerful laws in the universe. Briefly, like energy attracts like energy.
And the Law of Attraction helps to explain the dynamics in all of your relationships.
Every Person We Meet is a Mirror
Every human you encounter is a mirror to who you are at that very moment in your life. When we meet people with qualities we like, we are find ourselves admiring and appreciating qualities that we want. However, oftentimes we forget that we actually also have the same qualities that we are admiring, (usually because we haven’t developed those traits in ourselves yet). But trust me, they are there.
Similarly, when people have traits and qualities we dislike, those are actually the same qualities we have disliked and disowned in ourselves. If you find yourself quickly getting judgmental of another person, that is usually your shadow coming out. You learned in the past that that trait was unacceptable, and tried to suppress it at a young age.
Examples - Positive Traits
Let’s talk about when we like the traits of another person.
Let’s say you are more successful in your career, but you have a friend that is very successful and happily married in a relationship. In one way, you are more in tune with masculine energy in terms of motivation, productivity, going after what you want, etc. And in another way, perhaps they are more in touch with their feminine energy in terms of connection, nurturing, caring for others, etc.
While you might look at the other person and admire that they have loving and satisfying relationships, really, you have that capacity, too. Life is mirroring back to you what’s available to you too. By fostering more of your feminine energy, you can come into a better balance in your life.
Same with the relationships person, life is mirroring back to them that by fostering their masculine energy a bit more, they can come into a better balance for their life. Everyone can have what they want!!
Examples - Negative Traits
Now let’s talk about when you don’t like something about how another person is treating you.
Let’s say you are dating someone, and they are emotionally unavailable. Meaning, you are not getting your needs met emotionally in the relationship. Rather than looking at them to blame them, ask yourself, how am I emotionally abandoning myself?
Life, again, is mirroring back to you what you are doing with yourself.
Your Relationship With Yourself is the Most Important One!!!
Every relationship you have is a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself. It has taken me a long time to realize this, but it’s absolutely true. If you have people in your life that see you, hold you, and love you, it’s a reflection of how you treat yourself.
If you experience hurt feelings, emotional dismissal, overgiving, abuse/narcissism from others, emotional caretaking/rescuing, it’s really a matter of patterns you’ve picked up in your earlier life, as well as how you’ve continued to carry out them out now.
So again, it’s not really about the other person, life is giving you an opportunity to look inwards at yourself and heal the parts of you that aren’t completely whole yet.
As you revisit these painful patterns, you can heal them and integrate them. Once integrated, you rarely, if ever, have to revisit them through relationships.
This means that your relationships improve!!!
Going Back to the Mirror
If you find that people in your life are disrespecting your boundaries:
Ask yourself: How am I disrespecting my own boundaries?
If you find that people in your life are self-abandoning to people-please you:
Ask yourself: How am I self-abandoning to people-please others?
If you find that people aren’t nurturing you emotionally:
Ask yourself: How am I failing to nurture my own emotions?
If you find yourself in patterns of victimization or abuse:
Ask yourself: How am I playing the victim? Where did this pattern come from? How can I heal this part of myself? Where can I take back my power?
Healing Means Upleveling
As you heal these parts of yourself that never got their needs met (until now, when you honestly and authentically looked at them and healed them - good on you!), you start to feel more whole and complete, and your relationships then shift to fit that.
As you reset boundaries to serve your Highest Self, the ones who were draining you, abusing you, or dismissing your feelings – they all fall away, because they energetically are no longer a match for your greatness.
Personal Examples
I know these things because I’ve seen them play out in my life! I’ve had a pattern of emotional abuse and neglect in relationships. I’ve overgiven to people who used me for their gain. I’ve had people self-abandon to please me because they didn’t want me to abandon them. I’ve had people try to gaslight me into staying their friend because they felt I was outgrowing them.
What I’m Saying Now Is…
You do have the strength within you to transmute all of these energies. And as you do, you not only significantly uplevel the relationships that you have, but you also become a magnet for newer and more aligned relationship energies.
And This Means…
You have the power to heal every relationship you have by healing the one you have with yourself.
When you love and nurture your feelings, other people start to do the same with you.
When you set clear boundaries and respect them, other people do the same for you.
When you remember that you have all the energies inside of you that you were looking for, you start to appreciate the ones other people have but remember that you both have strong energies (masculine and feminine) and are learning to foster all of them!
A Quick Daily Activity to Improve Your Relationships
Back when I was reading the many books by Abraham-Hicks (such as The Vortex and Money, and the Law of Attraction), one activity stuck out at me and I do this every day.
Make a one-page list of all the people in your life (past, present, future) that you're grateful for. And include why. It takes under 3 minutes and it has totally improved and deepened my relationships since I started doing this.
Why does this work? Because you are magnifying your awareness on all your people’s best traits, and in turn, these are the ones that come out strongest back to you. So you basically are seeing everyone in their best light (don’t they deserve this?) and they in turn get to shower you with the same.
I feel like I’ve been receiving so much more in my relationships (a nice change from overgiving!) and it’s totally satisfying.
Try it out and let me know how it goes!!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
So much love,
Angeli
“Everything in your life, every experience, every relationship is a mirror of the mental pattern that is going on inside of you.” ~ Louise Hay
And whenever you feel ready, check out my collection of digital products to assist you on your spiritual path!
Create Your Own Beautiful Story: Learn to Manifest the Life of Your Dreams - an e-book on manifesting anything you want using the Law of Attraction (12-day workbook)!
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