I want to mention that we are at 50 subscribers now!! This is a huge milestone for me, and I wanted to thank all of my subscribers (old and new) for your support!! It really means so much to me :)
Do you ever look at overly optimistic people and wonder, why are you like this?
I used to think this all the time about optimistic people. What are they so happy about?
I remember when I was younger, one of my closest friends told me that she could see me as a persnickety, grumpy old person in the future.
At the rate I was going, it was true.
I’ve survived depression, suicidal thoughts (multiple times in my life), anxiety, insomnia, self-loathing, perfectionism, rage, and recurrent anger episodes. Also bedwetting, remember?
I used to think I was absolutely worthless, a common theme among people with depression. That despite all my efforts, I had nothing great to contribute. I believed my mere existence was absolutely wrong.
That was until I had my spiritual awakening back in 2017. And while a spiritual awakening is usually a dark time for most people (including for me), it led me to confront my fears, beliefs, conditionings, and prejudices against myself and start anew.
Starting Over
One major way I started anew was by learning to practice mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to the present moment, non-judgmentally and kindly, noticing the thoughts, sensations, and feelings that are occurring, without trying to change or manipulate them.
Just watching them pass like clouds in the sky.
For me, it was never about an end goal (another great lesson from mindfulness) but as I learned to pay attention to the present moment and let my thoughts pass, my mind would finally relax and take a break. I started to have “aha” moments of clarity, where I really saw why people meditate to begin with.
It’s a taste of bliss. It’s actually quite a beautiful phenomenon. No need to force, no need to change. Just showing up. Learning to surrender.
Today, I meditate 2-3 times per day for about 10 minutes each time. In our distracting and modern world, I find it essential.
But in practicing, you start to notice the beauty of the smallest things. The beautiful flowers your neighbor planted. Your breath during an early morning run. One of my favorite sights is when the sun hits a tree a certain way, illuminating its leaves. I love that sight so much. You might have noticed many of my blog posts are pictures of trees in the sun. What a world.
The Present Moment
It’s in connecting with the present moment that we connect with who we really are. A divine piece of intelligence from the Source. That’s when we are really our happiest, most joyful selves. Not ruminating in the past, nor worrying for the future. We are connected to our intuition and our greatest insights.
When we are in the present moment, we appreciate who we really are. We know that in the present moment there are infinite possibilities ahead of us. We realize the potential for things to get better. And that we are in charge of co-creating that future.
I think that’s where my zest for life comes from - an appreciation for the small things, and the bigger things like love, friendship, creativity, joy, and meaning. Life can be astoundingly beautiful if we choose to see it that way. What we put our attention on, grows.
I knew I needed to make improvements in myself 5 years ago if I wanted to be a happier person. Now I reflect back and see what a turnaround it has been. Seeing that the journey has been worthwhile and it makes me look forward to more growth in the future.
My Ponderings
Nowadays, I spend my time deep in thought about the wonder of living life on Earth. What life may look like in the future. How we will evolve and change as a species. How we are miraculous beings. How even when things seem like they are going awry, we have the ability to choose how we respond - in helpful and healthy ways.
And knowing that our contribution, in just being, really matters.
Where does your zest for life come from? Please write in the comments! I would love to hear from you :)
Wishing you all a relaxing, peaceful, and stress-free week!
Lots of love,
Angeli
“If a purpose should be assigned to Life, it should be Living.” - Anand Damani
Like you, I love the beauty of nature. This is a stressful time in our life, but today my husband and I spent the afternoon at a beautiful state park and did two easy, short hikes. There’s also a nice neighborhood park close to our apartment, so I walk there regularly and photograph the animals and cool trees I see. Watching animals always brings me joy and keeps me focused on the present moment instead of worrying about the future.