Greetings beautiful souls and welcome back ⭐
Here are my latest offerings:
Are you an empath who has been abused by a narcissist? Are you ready to end the cycle so that you can have the relationships you want? Here’s my course on how to do that :)
Are you looking for 1:1 help in your relationship life? I help spiritually awakened, empathic people break free from toxic relationship patterns so that they can love their relationships and love their life!! Book a free discovery call for coaching here!
Are you struggling with fertility?? Are you ready to release trapped emotions that are blocking your spirit baby from reaching you? Book an energy healing session with me!
Feeling stuck or unsure? Are you ready for clarity? Book a tarot reading with me!
FREE MEDITATIONS on Insight Timer!!! Check these out :)
FREE Youtube videos on how to design your dream business :)
Growth can be painful and lonely. These tools and services are made to help you!
I’ve been reading this book, Enchanted Love by Marianne Williamson. Amazing read btw. It has inspired me so much, not just with this post, but she also wrote that she performs marriage ceremonies, so I became an ordained marriage officiant this week! Yay 😀
If you are looking for a marriage officiant who is open-minded, spiritual (non-religious, non-traditional), aware, and modern, and will write you a really heartfelt, genuine ceremony that honors your sacred love, please reach out by email (hit reply) or sign up for a free call here! If you know of anyone who is looking for an officiant for their wedding, feel free to forward this email to them 🙂 Thanks so much! ♥️
Okay, onto our post - masculine and feminine energies in romantic relationships. I’ve written a whole post about unhealthy and healthy masculine and feminine energies (and here is another blog post that is perfect to describe this!) I’ll let you read that on your own.
In this post, we’re gonna talk about how the unhealthy masculine and unhealthy feminine energies play together and how the healthy masculine and healthy feminine energies dance together.
In order to make this post inclusive to all types of humans (not just men and women), I’m going to stick to using the terms masculine and feminine energies, keeping in mind that all of us have both energies inside of us to varying degrees (usually one is stronger than the other), regardless of gender identity 😇 And in all couples, opposite energies (of the feminine and masculine) attract. So one is always more masculine and one is always more feminine.
The reason I think talking about this is important, is because growing up in a world where predominantly unhealthy dynamics were shown to us (case in point - the Ross-Rachel syndrome - they are never actually together during Friends! They fight constantly, they manipulate each other, and they’re only together for a small portion of the series). And that’s what we grew up watching - straight up dysfunction. Many of us also grew up with adults in real life who didn’t show us what healthy, conscious relationships looked like.
But our generation is the changemakers. We are redefining love, evolving it, and advancing it. According to Marianne Williamson, there is only so much spiritual growth that can be accomplished on our own, and partnership affords us an even greater reach. Many of us opt to take much time to focus on ourselves - it’s healthy and necessary.
But ultimately, our greatest growth and greatest reach to the Divine is through intimate relationships. They show us a mirror to our deepest wounds that get to come to the light and be healed, if we choose that path. And that grows the relationship and expansiveness of self. Which is where the real magic is.
The Unhealthy Feminine and Masculine Dance
If we are not integrated in our feminine and masculine energies, we take on roles that initially might get us what we want for a second or two, but are ultimately unsustainable, or make us miserable. Because we are repeating patterns from childhood.
The unhealthy feminine-masculine dance can take two forms. One is where the feminine is mothering the masculine, and the other is where the feminine is playing teacher to the masculine.
In the first scenario, the feminine tries to do the inner work for the masculine. They will try to get them to see how they are coming up short - not sharing their feelings, or reflecting on themselves in some way. They try to do the masculine’s inner work for them. As such, they essentially are mothering the masculine to receive love, and eventually the masculine ends up resenting this and leaving.
The feminine will try to seduce, manipulate, and strategize to get the masculine to stay, failing to see that the masculine isn’t coming into them because they do not want to.
In the second scenario, the feminine plays teacher and initiator. In doing so, they try to convince the masculine to stay. They have learned in order to receive love they must achieve.
If the feminine is playing the masculine role by teaching and initiating (pursuing), the masculine can only stay at the expense of their masculinity. So they are playing a feminine role now. But the problem is the feminine then isn’t happy with a feminized masculine partner (lol). Nor is the masculine happy with giving up their masculinity.
Both of these are problematic because they bare control over the other person. Instead of trusting themselves to do the inner work of then attracting healthy partners with a healthy dynamic, they are reaching for a less-than-satisfactory experience.
If the masculine doesn’t want the feminine, or cannot show up for it for some reason, they are not yet mature enough or ready for the feminine. If the masculine says they want something fun and you as the feminine say you want something sweet and long-lasting, it’s not a match, and that’s it. Sometimes the feminine will unconsciously try to change the mind of the masculine, and then here we go again with an unconscious loop.
I’ve been there… “If they could just see how awesome I am…”
Where Do These Patterns Come From?
Childhood, usually. Many feminine people were overmasculinized to fit in our highly masculine world. If you had parents who were not as emotionally intelligent as you, or could not understand your emotions, this can happen. Or, if as a feminine person you were encouraged to be a rescuer or caregiver, that can play out in your relationships too, unconsciously.
Many masculine people were also either under-nurtured with their emotions, or over-coddled at ages where they should have been released, stunting their initiation into the healthy, adult masculine. The masculine needed that initiation and never got it.
So then we get a case of overrescueing and caretaking on one side, and excessive lack of empathy and avoidance on the other. Not fun at all!!! Not sustainable.
Now let’s talk about how this dynamic looks in a healthy feminine-masculine scenario.
The Healthy Feminine-Masculine Dynamic
In a healthy dynamic, the masculine initiates and the feminine receives, each from their own self-sovereignty and self-respect. Not through manipulation or convincing. The healthy masculine wants to give to the healthy feminine. It is in their true nature. The healthy feminine wants to receive. And this only requires each party being themselves, and showing up with presence.
Sometimes the feminine can block what they are receiving because it’s an old, ingrained habit based off of old conditioning. Receiving takes presence and awareness and self-love and healing too.
What draws people into romantic relationships, at a soul level, is actually the next stage of personal growth, which deepens our connection to The Divine and thereby our capacity to love. Each wound that is healed grows the individual as well as the relationship.
A healthy relationship means each person is responsible for their own lessons and reactions. Rather than looking at the other person’s shortcomings, or judging them, criticizing them, etc., you are choosing to see them in their best light. You are their biggest supporter in their personal growth. You are also a mirror to their shortcomings, and vice versa.
You are looking inside of yourself for the gifts and spiritual lessons during struggle. As each person is committed to their own spiritual growth, with humility, so comes the expansiveness and greater reach into newer depths of self, a greater freedom, and a bigger capacity to love.
How do we “get others” to do their own inner work? By doing our own, and embodying our new truths as best we can, which inspires others around us to do the same.
This journey of reaching farther and farther into the depths of your being - it becomes endlessly fascinating for both parties. Because who you were at the beginning is going to change over time. You are allowing yourself and the other person to be whomever they are on any given moment of any given day, and grow into whomever they will be in the future.
That freedom is pretty much what everybody wants! To simply be themselves and grow into whomever they’re meant to be. Freely! And to discover a new person within themselves and in front of them, day after day. How exciting!
Roles are boring, banal, and exhausting. Games are immature, stressful, and unsustainable. (IMHO)
When you bring the healthy feminine and masculine together, we have this beautiful dance going on where each chooses the other and the relationship is endlessly fascinating, with endless mysteries to discover, that deepens each person’s capacity to love. (That’s good for the planet btw).
What We Need and What We Desire
The partner we need ultimately is The Divine. The Divine is our most honest partner, knows us the best, and never lets us get away with anything lol. The partner at our side is the one we desire, but don’t need. That’s where our power lies. When the masculine knows the feminine does not need him yet desires him, that’s a big turn-on - now we have a true dance of enchantment 🙂
Wrap-Up
This is the kind of relationship I’m calling in. If you’ve made it to the end of this post, kudos and I love you for reading and listening along! Will love to hear any thoughts you have about this! Hit reply on email or you can write a comment as well!
Thanks so much for joining me! I love you and have a great week!
Love,
Angeli
“A spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purposes of spiritual growth. Spiritual partners use their delightful experiences as well as their power struggles to learn about themselves and change themselves.” ~ Gary Zukav
Did you like this post? Feel free to share
Share this post