Greetings everyone and welcome back!! :)
If you have been following along with the blog, you’ll know that I quit my job in Healthcare in Fall of 2022. And I chose not to tell my parents until I felt really ready.
A little background about my lineage: my parents were born in Sri Lanka, met in medical school, spent time in concentration camps during the civil war after both their houses were burned down. Somehow they managed to immigrate to the UK where me and my two brothers were born.
I spent about half my childhood in the UK and New York, and the other half of childhood in Maryland. We moved almost every year for the first 10 years of my life.
My parents are both physicians. My dad is an anesthesiologist, and my mom is/was a Primary Care Physician for many years.
As you can see, they have the hardworking mentality many immigrant parents have and pass onto their children. Their preference is for a steady-paying job with benefits.
Telling My Parents about Quitting My Job
They came to Nashville (my home) to celebrate this past Christmas, when I decided I would tell them in person about work. As usual, my dad asked, “Work is good?” And I finally had to say, “Actually, I left my job at the VA back in September.”
My mom’s initial response was, “Good for you!” I was instantly relieved. My dad was a little quiet initially, he didn’t ask too many questions.
As the weekend went on, more and more questions were raised, then more and more. My dad was definitely anxious. He and my mom wanted me to go back to work in pharmacy at some point. That’s not my intention at all :(
My brother, Janahan, was also with us, and he was able to allay some of their fears a bit. But overall, the experience was a bit harrowing.
The Prior 3 Months
When I left the VA, I was surrounded by so much love and support by my friends and co-workers. So for a good 3 months, nobody really questioned anything I was doing.
Hearing the anxiety and disapproval of my parents felt a bit disappointing and heartbreaking.
Because they were looking for concrete answers to “How will you make a living?” And because I didn’t have concrete answers, it was really hard to have that conversation.
If you read my last post on effortless flow and boundless action, you know that when you take steps to follow your soul’s purpose, doors open. I knew this intuitively, but I had no physical evidence to show at the time. I was talking about manifestation and how believing good things would happen eventually leads to good things happening, but my parents didn’t understand me.
It’s like we were speaking two different languages. They were looking for external safety, and I was looking for internal fulfillment.
One Month Later
I went to visit them in Maryland. Once again, my mom lectured me how about how important “making a living” was. I thought immediately to myself, “Why doesn’t she see my brilliance?” Then I started shouting, “I don’t need to work right now!!!”
I can’t even remember the last time I shouted, but afterwards it got me thinking about why I had such a strong reaction.
And the answer is, it was my inner adolescent. The inner adolescent is just like the inner child, with unmet needs and ways of acting them out. I’m assuming everyone reading this has already been an adolescent (some of you might have raised them or are raising them now), and the adolescent years are a time of self-discovery.
We look at adolescents at these moody, acne-ridden, risk-taking almost-adults, but there’s so much more going on beneath the surface. Their brains are changing rapidly. Their sensitivity is at an all-time high. They may have also grown up in a different culture from their parents (raising a hand).
When I remember that time, I was depressed, had suicidal thoughts, and with a new lens now, I realize how much freedom I yearned for, but felt I didn’t have.
This isn’t to knock my parents’ raising of me, they were as loving as they possibly could be. That was their best consciousness at play. I just know that as a child of immigrants, a young woman at that, my spirit would have liked more freedom than was given.
And because of this, I thought I was so incompetent at that age. That’s why I was yelling. Because my mom’s distrust of my new path (perhaps the path more than her daughter) brought me back to a time where I felt I wasn’t trusted, therefore couldn’t be trusted.
I knew I had to heal this part of me, because I didn’t want to feel this triggered again if/when someone (aka my parents) brought it up again.
A Moment of Inspiration
I am reading this book right now, called The Spiritual Child by Dr. Lisa Miller. She argues that adolescence is actually a time of spiritual awakening and individuation.
Taken from her book, an adolescent’s viewpoint of life really looks like this:
“What is good, worthy, full, or empty? What is life-giving, and how do I join and become part of what is good?”
These are the questions I asked myself before I left my job at the VA. What is life-giving for me? What gives me joy? How do I become part of a higher vision?
My parents treating me like an adolescent (in my head) is only a reflection of a new journey in my life where I’m not doing things according to what they believe to be true. I’m doing things in accordance with what I believe to be true.
Love Always Wins
Besides their questioning though, my parents have been unbelievably supportive and loving. My mom has even said she’s read my blog, and that it’s really good.
They may not understand all of it now, but maybe one day they will.
And if not, their love and support is more than plenty.
That’s all I got for today.
Hope you all have a splendid week!
Love,
Angeli
“If you are always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you can be.” ~Maya Angelou
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I Told My Immigrant Parents I Quit My Job -- Here's What Happened.
Thanks for sharing your journey! I think it’s hard to explain law of attraction or manifestation to people who haven’t directly experienced it but I’ve also realized there’s a common theme with words like prayer, surrender, grace and mercy that have a similar vibration I can share with my more religious parents. Just different vocabulary but it helps me realize we’re all after the same result which I think is a peaceful and joyful, purpose filled life.
Also, I quit my job in healthcare (working as an ICU nurse) 10 years ago now and no regrets. Best decision of my life. You’re on the right path as long as it’s YOUR path. ✨💗