How to Not Settle in Life!
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Hi! Having issues with audio today… so text post only :)
I received this download over the weekend, I feel Spirit wants me to talk about not settling in life.
Too often in our lives, we’ve been taught to suppress our needs, to self-sacrifice, and to settle for what we’ve got, or for what others want for us, instead of aligning with what we are meant for.
Take the example of manifesting a romantic partner. Let’s say you’ve made your list, checked it twice, felt all the feelings of what you want. Then someone shows up in your field, who only checks some of those boxes. And you are sitting there, kind of in-love, like, “Well this is still pretty good!!!”
They don’t answer your texts, or they’re really inconsistent, they’re non-committal – but they’re not abusive!!! So win for me, right?
(I’m mentioning this because I’ve done it before 😀)
We sometimes try to take what’s in front of us and “make it fit”, when it doesn’t actually fit! And if we stay with those things, we disrupt the natural flow of our lives and we make things a lot harder than they need to be!
Why Do We Settle?
We were often taught to make ourselves fit into so many situations as young people. We weren’t loved unconditionally, which meant we only received love when we behaved in certain “acceptable” ways.
This gives us the message that we can only be loved if we are different from who we really are, or contorting to other people’s expectations.
For example - Trying to be more extroverted when we are really more introverted. Trying to be more detail-oriented, when we are really more big-picture. Turning off our intuition in favor of our logical minds. Suppressing our needs in relationships so as to not upset the other. This list could go on and on… and it’s a slippery slope…
Couple that with societal pressures to do things by certain ages, now we’re really in a mess.
After all this, our happiness thermostat is now capped… and it takes an amount of de-conditioning to rewire it and raise that thermostat back up again.
But then you learn… when you force something to fit and it clearly doesn’t, you’re giving up your right to your own joy!!! Which means that thing isn’t even gonna make you happy anyways, long-term. You’ll always be contorting to “make that fit”. Sounds exhausting, because it is!
But, instead of trying to “make ourselves fit”, why not see if something actually fits you? Why not make “the fit” the real test of whether something is right for you?
When I think of the best things I’ve manifested, they not only fit, but were better than what I imagined. Yup.
Let’s go through some examples.
My House
I moved to Nashville in 2018, and somehow knew I would buy a house here at some point. I made a list of what I wanted, the prices were already creeping up, but I was doing well financially, so I still figured I’d go for what I wanted.
I was so lucky to find the best realtor in the process! If you need a realtor recommendation in the Nashville area, please let me know.
Anyways, I found the exact house I wanted - 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, single-family, with a front and back yard and a front and back porch. Ginormous kitchen - a must for an avid cook and baker.
Here’s what surpassed expectations:
I live 0.25 miles away from a park
I have extremely large windows, which means lots of natural light
I live on a dead end, so the street is really quiet at night (and during the day)
I have amazing neighbors!!! Seriously, the absolute best 😀
The house is more beautiful than I actually imagined. I have a walk-in pantry!!!! Unexpected.
My house is so cozy and comfortable. Plus, it’s Rocco’s home too. Even better!!!
Rocco
Rocco is my first dog in this lifetime, though I believe we’ve spent many lifetimes together. When I asked the universe for a dog, I asked for four things:
Black dog with a white chest (so cute!)
Medium to large
Friendly
House-trained
He was all of the above, except he wasn’t house-trained. But that was fixable in a short amount of time (and perhaps that was for the highest good for me to learn how to house-train him!)
He was, however, already well-socialized to people and other dogs. Including children and babies somehow. And that’s a huge weight lifted when you have a dog. Especially when your friends and family start to have babies 💗
What I didn’t expect:
I didn’t expect to love this baby as much as I do!!! Any pet owner will tell you that love is indescribable, vast, unending, and always deepening <3
For him to sleep in my bed every night and to fall in love with that
With every dog I sit for, I grow a deeper appreciation for how easy he is - his temperament, his sociability, his listening, his leash-walking, he’s so well-behaved!!!
Just how cuddly he is!!!! Insane
Even when he doesn’t like another dog, he doesn’t growl or make a huge fuss, he just looks awkward and stays away 😀 it’s subtle, but I’ve learned to be able to tell
Life with Rocco is even better than I imagined. Sure, it took a couple of years to train him, but every moment has been so worth it. He’s an amazing dog!!! He’s a great fit for me. And I’m so grateful to know him 🙂
How to Not Settle
You have to be able to dream beyond what you’ve experienced before. You have to be willing to reset that happiness thermostat to a new level. You have to be willing to make joy a priority and follow your intuition.
You have to be willing to learn the lessons from unwanted circumstances to then ask for circumstances that you want. You have to be specific and positive with your thoughts so the universe knows what to deliver to you. You have to release the parts of you that block your own joy. You have to do a bit of unlearning.
Pep Talk
You are worthy of being the truest, most turned up expression of who you are, and allowing whatever comes along your way to really match you!! Or to send it away if it doesn’t!
You’re worthy of your manifestations being better than what you imagine!
Just because you haven’t experienced something in the happiest form (yet), doesn’t mean it’s not the horizon for you.
Just because you haven’t quite experienced the loving, supportive, blissful relationship you dream of, doesn’t mean you can’t.
Just because you haven’t had the successful, entrepreneurial, spiritual business you desire, doesn’t mean you can’t.
Just because you’ve learned to settle in one part of your life, (which might mean you are setting in all parts of your life on some level…), doesn’t mean you can’t learn how to co-create a better life now.
It takes a bit of a mindset shift, and perhaps a bit of inner child healing and deconditioning, for you to be able to see that if you follow your intuition and your joy, and allow yourself to truly be met, life can be even sweeter than what you imagine.
And that not only increases the quality of your life, but affects everyone around you. Because your joy (or lack thereof) creates a ripple effect.
Instead of buying the house you’re not happy with and then replacing it shortly after, you can choose a house you love.
Instead of settling for the less-than-happy relationship, you can stay single a little longer, cultivate the relationship you have with yourself, and then receive the real magic of a wonderful relationship at the right and divine timing.
Instead of giving up on your business dream to go back to a 9-5 you hate, you can stay a little longer and watch miracles unfold.
All of this requires a level of intentionality, self-trust, healing, and self-worth.
Your inner nudges are here to guide you. As well as your joy.
Speaking of which, I received quite a few responses saying, “Yes we want a joy workshop!!” So, it’s happening. Mark your calendars for Tuesday, October 15th at 6:30pm CST (USA). It’s online and will be recorded. Please share with anyone you know who might be interested or who might benefit. Thank you!
My Message to You
Don’t settle!!! Honor yourself, your own joy, and your intuition, and life will give back to you a million-fold. (And if you need more help with this, I’m here).
Lots of love,
Angeli
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~ Nelson Mandela